September 29, 2004

the leaves are changing, and so am i

some people like summer; others like fall; to some, winter is the best; and many like spring. I was thinking about this today, thinking about what a beautiful day it is. I thought to myself, I love crisp fall days. But then I thought about winter and Christmas, and thought I liked that the best. But then memories of the first spring drive with the convertible top down came into my head, and i realize that those times are great. And then my mind wandered on to summer: being out in the heat, jumping in a cold pool to stay cool, paying a buck for an ice cold cup of watered down kool-aide from the kid on the corner who only asked for a quarter, but whats a buck to you anyway?

It was then that I realized that life isn't about consistency. It's all about change. Each season has its good points, but for me, the best part of each season is the first notice that it has snuck up on me. Putting on pants for the first time in months today, stepping outside with the sun beating down on my sleeved arms, I realized that the change is what I crave. Maybe that's why I've been so upset about everything lately. It has all been monotony. I need a change in my life, the question is what?

Each season, great in its own respect, but none would be all that great without the others. Maybe that's what my life needs: seasons. I guess that's why teaching sounds so appealing to me. The idea of a "seasonal" job for the rest of my life sounds so great. I could be a lifeguard, or even work as a janitor during the summers. It would break up the monotony of life. Always something to look forward to. I don't know if being an art teacher is really what I want to do, but at this point in my life, it sounds like the most appealing job to me.

Plenty of people question me, and even laugh at me about this. And, honestly, I have too, but the more I think about it, the better it seems to fit me. I've been told I'd be a good teacher, it only took me a few years for me to believe it. I guess I should make a decision soon, before i get myself to bogged down with student loans...

So yeah, that's where I am in my life right now: yearning for change. Stability and consistency is comfortable, but not interesting. I'm not saying that I haven't enjoyed my life, but I need some change. Seasons change, things change, people change, relationships change. That's life. Realizing this is probably the best thing that could happen to me now.

Posted by hollimer at September 29, 2004 3:21 PM | TrackBack

Ryan you make a good point about life. It's like the old cliche says, the only constant is change. We spend so much of our lives trying to resist change that we often forget that it can be a good and exciting thing.

Posted by: Dan P at September 29, 2004 5:46 PM
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