November 12, 2004

navigating off the trail of complacency and into the woods of whatever the hell it is i want to do with myself

so i was just sitting here, headphones shutting me off from the world and my itunes playlist goes from bach to the cure and it occured to me: that's really fucked up.

i mean, its not fucked up, but its an odd reflection of me. it got me thinking. yeah, i have a wide variety of tastes when it comes to music, and thats cool. i like a lot of different generes and whatnot, but i realized that i am like that in all facets of my life.

i listen to they might be giants (an obvious ecclectic choice), britney spears (i'll admit it. don't judge, the bible says not to), an assortment of classical music (calms the racing mind), every form of jazz (how can you resist the epitome of cool?), and even some country music. my musical tastes know no boundries, i'm just as happy listening to dave matthews as i am blue man group or justin timberlake or the shins. in the same way, i'm comfortable wearing a nice shirt, tight (not too tight. again, don't judge) jeans, and a sport coat; and just as comfortable wearing baggy ripped cargo pants, hoodie, and ratty old baseball cap. i read gq, popular mechanics, stuff magazine, and wired. each ridiculing the other in its own way, but i read on faithfully.

movies? there's been one movie that i can remember not saying i liked. its not so much i didnt like it, it was entertaining, i just have no desire to see it again. people? i dont think i know anyone that i truely dont like. ok, yes there's the occassional asshole that nobody in a right state of mind would want to be with, and sure there's those people that have little nuances that bug me, but on the whole, i generally like everybody i know.

is that a good thing or not? should i be more decisive about things in my life? am i too complacent with everything? i can't picture being more picky when it comes to music. variety is the spice of life... or something. iunno, i just got to thinking that i like a lot of things, i guess that kinda occured to me when i was going through the dilemma of what i want to do with my life. architecture, though it sounded interesting when i was 10, is not really what i want to do. i was just riding it out, it seemed. that is not at all what i want to do, just ride life out. i want to grab the bull by the horns. i say that, but i've never really done that. maybe i'll start now. but then again i probably won't. meh, we'll see what goes down this weekend. maybe i'll bitchslap life. tell it, "goddamnit, you're mine and i'll do what i want! no more drifting along with the breezes of time. we're goin this way, you jackass."

well ok, i probably won't be so crass. i mean, life and i have had a good existence thus far. we've never really clashed before, i just need to show him who's boss around here.

recommendations of the day... hmm... song: "The Picture Book" - The Kinks (from that hp photography commercial)
accent to acquire to impress the ladies: a charming british one (saw alfie today... that man is a pimp. bastard)
thats all for now. g'night all

Posted by hollimer at November 12, 2004 12:34 AM | TrackBack
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