April 3, 2005

leave the planet.

i could write about everything that's happened since i last posted... about the 16 hour drive down to florida. the week there. the 19 hours home. the illini basketball team. whatever... but instead, i'll just post this little bit of information by douglas adams, because his writing is hilarious:

How to Leave the Planet:
1. Phone NASA. Their number is 713.483.3111. Explain that it's very important tohat you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House- 202.456.1414- to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107.095.295.9051). They don't have any friends either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011.39.6.69.82, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attemps fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.
-Douglas Adams

Posted by hollimer at April 3, 2005 4:27 PM | TrackBack
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