April 21, 2006

short story

So this didnt actually happen.... but it could happen to you.... maybe not. either way its pretty rough i just whipped it up last night before goin to bed.

For now I'm calling it "Psych"

Today’s the day. After psych class I’m doing it.

I can’t do it.

Shut up, yes you can. You’ve figured out all the aspects of it. So what if she's a couple years older than you? You both dig this psych class. You dig her. She seems to dig you. If it’s possible to over-analyze this, you definitely succeeded. It’s practically a scripted choose your own adventure. She says this, you say that; she says that, you say this.

Okay. One more run-through:

Class is ending and you’re chatting with her like you do every week: “…Yeah, he is crazy. I want to take a class that’s just picking his brain, listening to his experiences.”
She says, “I know! But that’s kinda what this class is like sometimes.”
Then you drop the question, “You wanna go dancing sometime?”
To which she will be utterly confused by, “Wha-? Uh… dancing?”
Explain yourself… “Yeah… well you know, dinner and a movie is a little over-played…. So dancing. Do you dance at all?”
This is where she says either “Yes” to which you reply “Awesome! You can show me how to do it, cuz I have no idea.” Or she says “No” and you say “Great! We’ll be on the same level then cuz I’ve never been either.”

Simple as that. You can do this. She’s totally into you. You are the man. You are practically a god. Do it. You’ve got this. Go for it.

Okay, fine. I’m doin it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“…so vinish zee study guide und vee vill disguss eet next veek.”

Okay now’s the time. Pack up your books. Slow down, dude. She hasn’t even closed her notebook yet… Okay, she’s standing up walk up to her.

Reference something from the class… something funny. Be witty.
“So, want to start a laughing club with me.”
“Hahaha. Totally. Let’s do it. First meeting right now: HAHAHA!”
Nice! You are a god! … Don’t just stand there laughing like an moron! Put that amazing wit to use!
“We’re laughing! Sharing a moment!”
Pop culture plagiarism… I like it.
“I love Anchorman!”
Hook, line and sinker. Now’s the time. Ask her.
“You wanna go dancing sometime?”
“Wha-? Dancing? You dance? What kind of dancing?”
Whoa… She wasn’t supposed to say all that. She asked you a question!!! Say something, quick!
“Any kind of dancing: Swing… waltz… tango… The Lambada! Do know how to dance?” Nice save.
“Actually, yeah. I do know how to dance.”
Back on track… Reel her in.
“Sweet. You can teach me. I’ve never been.” Everything is going according to plan… Mwahahaha!!!
“Ha… I’m not quite good enough to teach you. I go to this place over in Wheaton every Friday night. You available?”
I’d cancel a liver transplant if I had to. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Cool! Let me give you my cell number. This place is great. They’ve got live bands and open dancing at 9, but lessons start at 7.”
“Awesome. Here’s my number. You can teach me a step or two.”
“Definitely. Ya gotta bring a partner though…”
“Oh! I could see if my boyfriend’s sister is available. She’s your age. She’ll totally dig you.”
oh. Boyfriend.

Posted by hollimer at April 21, 2006 1:27 PM

Good stuff. I laughed. I cried.

Posted by: diddy at April 24, 2006 3:37 PM
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