Rants, Raves, Reflections, Reports, Reminisces and Reveries

q101: on shuffle

i just listened to q101 for a little over four hours and they didnt play the same song twice. this is how radio should be. that is all.

this bud's for you, Anacreon

So this afternoon I sat down with a punch bowl full of Cocoa Crispies and a giant glass of orange-mango juice and turned on the tv. Apparently my dad was the last one in there because it was on MSNBC. I'm not a huge fan of 24 hour news channels. Sure, sometimes I need a laugh, so I flip on Tucker Carlson to see his rediculous clown ties, but that's about it.

Anyway, they were discussing "Nuestro Himno," ("Our Anthem") a new song by latino recording artists. Literally translated, it is not the same lyrics as "The Star Spangled Banner." Because of this many people are up in arms, including President Bush. Why? Because the melody is the same, but the words are changed. The people opposing this song are saying that "The Illegal Alien Anthem" doesn't have the same value as the original english version. Good point, because that tune is strictly AMERICAN DAMNIT!!!

Yeah... not so much. Many have heard that the tune is actually an english drinking song. Sorta. It was basically the theme song of... well, more or less a gentleman's club. "To Anacreon" was the name of the orginal song. Anacreon, as I'm sure all my loyal readers already know, was a Grecian poet known for... drinking songs. So "To Anacreon" isn't so much a drinking song in itself, but moreso an ode to drinking songs and erotica.

Back on the subject of the American National Anthem. Sing it. Right now. Do it.... Go ahead, I'll wait for you to finish...... Okay, so maybe you got through it in one try, didnt even have to strain yourself.... But chances are you didn't. "...Who's broad stripes and bright stars, through the mumble mumble mumble." Okay, maybe you do know the whole thing, I do (I'm an Eagle Scout though... I'm supposed to know it). But what does it mean? The lyrics are from a poem written by a guy who was on a boat to negotiate the trade of some P.O.W.'s. While he was there he heard a plan to attack Baltimore. So before letting Francis Scott Keys go, they locked him up so he couldnt go inform his country that they were about to get attacked. So he sat in his cell and watched as this fort got bombed to shit for a day and a half. At sunrise he peered out his cell and "the flag was still there." He was excited and inspired, so he wrote this poem, "Defence of Fort McHenry," the first stanza of which is now known as "The Star Spangled Banner."

So there's your history lesson of the day. The point of all that is to get some feel for where the guy was coming from when he wrote these words, since it isn't the tune that should really be in question here. Well the head honcho behind the record label responsible said they recorded this song so spanish-speaking people could "fully understand the character of the Star-Spangled Banner, the American flag and the ideals of freedom that they represent.” Sounds reasonable to me. So why not just translate it word for word? Well the big deal with this whole thing seems to be the not assimilating. Bush said, "I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English... And they ought to learn to sing the National Anthem in English.” Sounds like a fine request to me.... If english was our offical national language. But currently on a federal level there is no national language. I do think that people should learn english to use our schooling system. I see nothing wrong with ESL classes. I see nothing wrong with a parent not being able to speak english, but the child does and attends public school.

On this MSNBC report they interviewed John Teeley, of the Center for Immigration Studies (have you seen "Thank You For Smoking" yet?), who had this to say: “You are talking about something sacred and iconic in the American culture. Just as we wouldn’t expect people to change the colours of the national flag we wouldn’t expect people to fundamentally change the anthem and rewrite it in a foreign language.” The Atlanta Braves add an s to the last word of the song, but I don't see him up in arms about it. He also said something to the effect of "America has always had a contract with immigrants that says 'You adjust to us, we are not going to adjust to you.'" Really? Where does it say that in the Declaration of Independence or in the Constitution? My opinion on this is like my opinion on female pastors: Man, Woman, or child (or in this case english, spanish or ...god forbid... french): if the message is right, who cares?

I do not think people should be so quick to dismiss "Nuestro Hymno." The point of the National Anthem is to represent our country. It is a bonding experience for sporting events. A way to illustrate, and even raise national pride. "Nuestro Hymno" is not trying to take away from that. It is not trying to replace "The Star Spangled Banner." It is simply trying to relate that national pride to people who otherwise would not necessarily understand "The Star Spangled Banner."

Conan In Chicago

I'm goin on may 10th! so start suckin up now, cuz i got an extra ticket.... okay, i'm prolly bringin my dad, so dont try too hard.

short story

So this didnt actually happen.... but it could happen to you.... maybe not. either way its pretty rough i just whipped it up last night before goin to bed.

For now I'm calling it "Psych"
*****************************************************************

Today’s the day. After psych class I’m doing it.

I can’t do it.

Shut up, yes you can. You’ve figured out all the aspects of it. So what if she's a couple years older than you? You both dig this psych class. You dig her. She seems to dig you. If it’s possible to over-analyze this, you definitely succeeded. It’s practically a scripted choose your own adventure. She says this, you say that; she says that, you say this.

Okay. One more run-through:

Class is ending and you’re chatting with her like you do every week: “…Yeah, he is crazy. I want to take a class that’s just picking his brain, listening to his experiences.”
She says, “I know! But that’s kinda what this class is like sometimes.”
Then you drop the question, “You wanna go dancing sometime?”
To which she will be utterly confused by, “Wha-? Uh… dancing?”
Explain yourself… “Yeah… well you know, dinner and a movie is a little over-played…. So dancing. Do you dance at all?”
This is where she says either “Yes” to which you reply “Awesome! You can show me how to do it, cuz I have no idea.” Or she says “No” and you say “Great! We’ll be on the same level then cuz I’ve never been either.”

Simple as that. You can do this. She’s totally into you. You are the man. You are practically a god. Do it. You’ve got this. Go for it.

Okay, fine. I’m doin it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“…so vinish zee study guide und vee vill disguss eet next veek.”

Okay now’s the time. Pack up your books. Slow down, dude. She hasn’t even closed her notebook yet… Okay, she’s standing up walk up to her.

Reference something from the class… something funny. Be witty.
“So, want to start a laughing club with me.”
Idiot.
“Hahaha. Totally. Let’s do it. First meeting right now: HAHAHA!”
Nice! You are a god! … Don’t just stand there laughing like an moron! Put that amazing wit to use!
“We’re laughing! Sharing a moment!”
Pop culture plagiarism… I like it.
“I love Anchorman!”
Hook, line and sinker. Now’s the time. Ask her.
“You wanna go dancing sometime?”
“Wha-? Dancing? You dance? What kind of dancing?”
Whoa… She wasn’t supposed to say all that. She asked you a question!!! Say something, quick!
“Any kind of dancing: Swing… waltz… tango… The Lambada! Do know how to dance?” Nice save.
“Actually, yeah. I do know how to dance.”
Back on track… Reel her in.
“Sweet. You can teach me. I’ve never been.” Everything is going according to plan… Mwahahaha!!!
“Ha… I’m not quite good enough to teach you. I go to this place over in Wheaton every Friday night. You available?”
I’d cancel a liver transplant if I had to. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Cool! Let me give you my cell number. This place is great. They’ve got live bands and open dancing at 9, but lessons start at 7.”
“Awesome. Here’s my number. You can teach me a step or two.”
“Definitely. Ya gotta bring a partner though…”
Huh?
“Oh! I could see if my boyfriend’s sister is available. She’s your age. She’ll totally dig you.”
oh. Boyfriend.

random stuff

its been a while. here's some things i've noticed/been contemplating:

amp'd mobile's tagline is "have the power to entertain yourself." am i the only one that finds it odd that the power to "entertain yourself" involves watching videos and playing video games? dont get me wrong, i watch tons of movies and have had my share of video game playing, but i'm content with drawing, writing, and on some select occassions... interpretive dance. at any rate: "the power to entertain yourself" in a cell phone is silly.

colbert report is getting real political figures as guests. that is amazing. and awesome. "you're doin a heckuva job, brownie." and ralph nader is on right now. okay... he's not a real political figure. he's just a figment of the presidential election imagination.... but its still pretty cool. "we shouldnt have robots have more power than we." ralph nader is a genius.

toe rings are hot. i dont know why. they're totally rediculous. but they're hot.

if you work at a store, customers automatically assume you are entirely responsible for and have all reaching powers including (but not limited to): what products the store carries, the store layout, clearance items, the apr of the store credit card, the benifits of the store credit card, how often you get shipments of star wars figures and hot wheels cars

hot wheels collectors are dicks.

if asked "can i help you find something" a proper response is "yeah, insert whatever you're looking for here" or "no." improper responses include (but again, not limited to): "yeah, i'm fine." "this lousy store never has what i want anyway." "you have no idea where this thing i'm looking for is." "yeah. a skinny broad with big tits."

philosophy is interesting and fun.

hotness is relative.

heist is an awesome tv show.

i wish i could grow a beard.... but all i have is cinnamon.

although i didnt think all that highly of "The DaVinci Code" as a book i really enjoyed the story and cannot wait for the movie. it looks fantastic.

also carl hiaasen's second movie based on one of his books is coming out soon. it's called hoot, based on his children's novel. his other book turned movie is striptease. i think that fact should be on the poster somewhere. "From the writer of 'Striptease' comes a new film for children: 'Hoot'"ers.

"Breathe Me" by Sia is one of the most intimate songs ever. the lyrics are pretty personal, but she's barely singing them so its turned way up. it sounds like she's whispering these things to you. you can hear her lips smack. you can hear her swallow. its so incredibly personal it almost feels dirty. i love it.

Fort Minor, Mike Shinoda's (the guy from linkin park) new side project, is awesome. "Where'd You Go" featuring Holly Brook is amazing. i really dig holly brook's voice. listen to her song "saturday" on her myspace webpage. Fort Minor's "remember the name" was released under a creative commons license for a remix contest.

creative commons is awesome. i'm planning on doing a bit of actual design on my blog, not just revamping the color scheme... i have very little idea where to begin, but i know i need to figure out how to throw a creative commons button up on this mofo for ever individual post.

i've said that i have no desire to get a tatoo, but one tatoo that i'd actually thought would be pretty sweet is a creative commons logo on my hand between my thumb and forefinger. since i'm planning on being an artist (on some scale) and am all about creative expression. imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so why wouldnt i want somebody to borrow my ideas and meld it with their own to produce something possibly even better? everything i create would fall out into creative commons land. and it would be glorious.... okay, i'll prolly never get a tatoo, but i thought it was a cool idea... although i had given a little thought into looking into becomeing a tatoo artist. but i think i'm more apt to teaching.

what if the bible was actually based on some creative commons licensed stories.... i just blew your mind, didnt i? man i'm tire.d

okay. well thats all for now. i've had some writing related creative ideas recently... so possibly expect those soonish. maybe. we'll see.

recommendations:
lucky number slevin, thank you for smoking, boondock saints, heist (the tv show), teachers (the nbc sitcom.... okay, its not great but i like it).